Jim Sorgi, known to some as "The Bambino of Football," calls his shot.
Photo from AP Photo by Darron Cummings
Jacksonville Jaguars: An injury to Peyton would be blood in the water, immediately highlighting Jack Del Rio's Jags as the favorite to win the division. John Henderson and Co. will look to paint a masterpiece with their revamped pass rush and in the first matchup of the season Jim Sorgi will be the canvas. By the time they meet back up in week 16, the Jags will have locked up a playoff spot. The Colts will have a chance to take this one (though they wont), but only because Jacksonville's starters will be resting. Following the game, Roger Gooddell fines the Jaguars entire defense for what he later terms "excessive brutality."
Houston Texans: The Texans would be the second biggest beneficiary of a sidelined Peyton Manning. With a healthy offense, Schaub and Andre Johnson will take advantage of a tired Colts defense late in each game. With Colvin, Williams and Okoye applying pressure on Sorgi, the Texans will very well be poised to sweep the Colts for the first time ever.
Final Division Standings:
So yesterday I found out that Peyton Manning is, in fact, not a robot. That, or NFL robots have bursae like us humans that sometimes get infected (malfunction) and require surgery (tune-up). His surgery (tune-up) will keep him sidelined for the next 4-6 weeks, but according to ESPN.com he should be ready to go for the regular season. In other words, don't get your hopes up Texans fans. But the thought of Manning being out of action made me wonder how the Colts would function. So I took it a step further and, Eureka! A hypothetical speculation blog post was born.
What would the AFC South look like without Peyton for a year? Let's take a team by team approach.
Indianapolis Colts: They go first, since they'd be the most affected. A Peyton-less Colts team would be a rudderless ship. In such an event, I suspect that head coach Tony Dungy would look to Joseph Addai to shoulder the load. Jim Sorgi would take over under center for the first time as a starter in the NFL. Very soon after he would run back to the sidelines to find his helmet, a la Johnny Moxon in Varsity Blues. Sorgi's numbers have been respectable in the 6 meaningless games he's been the feature QB. Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark, and Anthony Gonzales would consult with Ricky Williams and other holistic medicine professionals in an effort to bring Peyton back as quickly as possible. In order to avoid the train wreck that the Colts season would inevitably become, Marvin Harrison would claim that his leg is acting up again, and has forced him into an early retirement. In other words, it would probably get ugly...despite the weapons Sorgi would have. Remember how the Chargers started out last year? Picture that, minus the turn-around. I say they'd win 5 games, tops.
What would the AFC South look like without Peyton for a year? Let's take a team by team approach.
Indianapolis Colts: They go first, since they'd be the most affected. A Peyton-less Colts team would be a rudderless ship. In such an event, I suspect that head coach Tony Dungy would look to Joseph Addai to shoulder the load. Jim Sorgi would take over under center for the first time as a starter in the NFL. Very soon after he would run back to the sidelines to find his helmet, a la Johnny Moxon in Varsity Blues. Sorgi's numbers have been respectable in the 6 meaningless games he's been the feature QB. Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark, and Anthony Gonzales would consult with Ricky Williams and other holistic medicine professionals in an effort to bring Peyton back as quickly as possible. In order to avoid the train wreck that the Colts season would inevitably become, Marvin Harrison would claim that his leg is acting up again, and has forced him into an early retirement. In other words, it would probably get ugly...despite the weapons Sorgi would have. Remember how the Chargers started out last year? Picture that, minus the turn-around. I say they'd win 5 games, tops.
Peytonless Prediction for 2008: 1-5 in division, with defense taking one from tennessee
Jacksonville Jaguars: An injury to Peyton would be blood in the water, immediately highlighting Jack Del Rio's Jags as the favorite to win the division. John Henderson and Co. will look to paint a masterpiece with their revamped pass rush and in the first matchup of the season Jim Sorgi will be the canvas. By the time they meet back up in week 16, the Jags will have locked up a playoff spot. The Colts will have a chance to take this one (though they wont), but only because Jacksonville's starters will be resting. Following the game, Roger Gooddell fines the Jaguars entire defense for what he later terms "excessive brutality."
Peytonless Prediction: 4-2 in division, with a sweep of the Colts.
tennessee titans: The titans won't have the playmakers on offense to significantly challenge the Jags for the top spot, if Peyton ever went down. Vince's propensity towards the interception would keep Bob Sanders and the Colts in contention for both games, leading to a split of the series. Albert Haynesworth and Kyle Vanden Bosch will have a field day.
Peytonless Prediction: 2-4 in division, splitting the Colts series thanks to a 3 INT performance by VY in week 8.
Houston Texans: The Texans would be the second biggest beneficiary of a sidelined Peyton Manning. With a healthy offense, Schaub and Andre Johnson will take advantage of a tired Colts defense late in each game. With Colvin, Williams and Okoye applying pressure on Sorgi, the Texans will very well be poised to sweep the Colts for the first time ever.
Peytonless Prediction: 4-2 in division, With Mario Williams devouring Jim Sorgi in the final seconds of their week 11 matchup to sweep the Colts. Sorgi would be later be regurgitated, per the insistence of Head Coach Gary Kubiak.
Final Division Standings:
Jacksonville, 4-2
Houston, 4-2
tennessee, 2-4
Indy, 1-5
In summary, the Colts would be in for a very bumpy ride if Peyton were ever forced to sit out an entire season. Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark, both of whom have never had to worry about suiting up Sunday without Manning, would fall under crushing scrutiny. If either one struggled to produce, shows like PTI and Around the Horn would undoubtedly begin debating whether or not they're overrated, and whether Peyton's simply been inflating their stats. Both guys are great players, but they've also been receiving the ball from arguably the best distributor in the game. Their temporary fall from the NFL's elite would also most-certainly leave a playoff spot up for grabs, giving up-start teams like the Browns, and Texans a legitimate shot at entering the post-season.
Peyton Manning's absence from football would be the equivalent of Tiger's absence from golf. It's amazing to think how much the landscape of the entire sport would be changed by an injury (malfunction) to one quarterback (robot).
ALTERNATE SCENARIO:
Upon news of Manning's injury, the Colts trade their 2009 1st round pick to Green Bay for Brett Favre. The balance of power in the AFC would remain unchanged, and I would have no choice but to hate Favre.
3 comments:
There's no way that Brett Favre could step into the Indy offense and have them not miss a beat. The only reason that Favre did so well last year is because Mike McCarthy dumbed down the playbook. If he had trouble picking up the Green Bay offense, his brain's gonna start leaking out of his ears when he tries to pick up the Indy offense. Favre doesn't have the accuracy that Manning does, not to mention that Favre would have absolutely no chemistry with any of the Indy WR's.
To be fair, Favre would still probably do better than Sorgi, and he'd definitely sell more tickets, but they'd still struggle to finish 2nd in the division with Favre at the helm.
The Favre thing was sarcasm.
I completely agree though, the Indy offense is way too complex. But it would be just like Indy to pull something like that off.
Two different styles. I can only imagine the bewildered look on Reggie Wayne's face after Brett dishes the game plan.
"Hey man, just run down field and I'll git it to ya."
D'oh
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