You Stay Classy Houston (Texans)

Nowadays it seems like your favorite NFL player is more likely to obtain a criminal record than one on the field.

It seems like once the offseason hits, they all go nuts like a 2nd grader at recess.

Cedric Benson's got a little Captain in him.

I'm too lazy to retell every single incident where Johnny Law meets Arrogant NFL Athlete, so here's a quick run-down of my favorites.

Odell Thurman - Felonious assault at a water park.
Thoughts: If it wasn't at Schlitterbahn, then who cares what place in line you are. The ride is going to suck. Now if he was at the Bahnzai Pipeline, that'd be a different story.

Cedric Benson - A DWI, BWI (boating while intoxicated), and resisting arrest all in a month.
Thoughts: That mandatory breathalyzer installed in his car is sure to impress the ladies.

Marshawn Lynch - Hit and Run
Thoughts: What's a 27 year-old-lady doing dancing in the street at 3 in the morning?! Hopefully that $150 traffic ticket will teach Lynch a harsh lesson.

Matt Jones - Felony Cocaine Charges
Thoughts: He currently claims no responsibility. I guess he was just being a pal and cutting those lines of white candy in his lap….for a friend?

This list goes on MUCH longer than this, but those are a few of my favorites (so far).

Yet with the abundance of players making weekend reservations at the grey-bar motel, I've noticed one thing: Not too many of them are Texans. Take Jacoby Jones and his DWI ticket in March out of the equation and you have a Texans roster with no police reports. That's a pretty admirable thing these days. I like knowing that when some mom goes to buy her kid a Texans jersey, she wont have to find one that doesn't have an arrest record linked to it.

Not one marquee name on the Texans roster has had issues with law enforcement. Mario Williams caught a little flack for a video posted of him speeding in a Lamborghini, but honestly...if you're not speeding in a Lambo every once in awhile, then why'd you even buy it?! Besides him, they've all remained stand-up citizens in the community, and proven leaders on the field.

So what exactly are the Texans doing to keep their players in check? It's actually a simple two-step process.

Step One: Questionable characters need not apply. Head Coach Gary Kubiak and General Manager Rick Smith make it a point to factor in a specific player quality that most teams constantly overlook when adding to their roster. Character. Character wont add 50 pounds to your bench press or take .5 seconds off of your 40-yard dash, but it's an intangible worth weighing when choosing a player. Your light's out game changing player can't make much of an impact on the field when he's getting fingerprinted down at county. Because of this, Smith and Kubiak have put together a locker-room full of quality people and athletes. They've also displayed a New England-like zero tolerance policy to knuckleheads (see: Mathis, Jerome).

Step Two: Less downtime equals less time to get in trouble. The Texans offseason training spans throughout the summer unlike most NFL teams. This leaves little time and opportunity to attend shirt-less parties, spray Dom Perignon on people at a Vegas club (and then get jumped for showing off), or smoka da reefah. Simple as that.

Because of this, the Texans are one of the classiest team in the NFL as far as I'm concerned. Now while that doesn't directly translate into wins, it provides the team with a level of legitimacy amongst the rest of the league. In time I believe it will turn them into an ideal destination for free agents. Thanks for being one of the few teams in the league that sets a positive example. You stay classy, Texans (Thanks for stopping by).